Monday, July 21, 2008

Actual message to online civil law class professor

ACTUAL MESSAGE TO MY PROFESSOR (CIVIL LAW CLASS ONLINE)

Subject: Um...because I'm special??

Obviously, I'm totally joking when I say that (but really--I am special. My mom tells me so all the time. Other people have noticed it too. They'll say things like, "You're kinda special, aren't you?" But anyway...) but I would like to ask for your indulgence in possibly permitting me to submit any/all of the assignments I failed to submit in time for grading. I do not expect to receive the same grade had I turned them in on time. I realize that this means more work for you, not to mention the aggravation/complication/plus-other-ations-I-haven't-even-considered for you and that's not fair. But (aside from my specialness, which might not be enough) I would really, really appreciate it. After all, wouldn't you rather have your students do all the work and turn it in--even if some of that work is late? True--being able to meet deadlines is a major part of any law career--however, I think that meeting these deadlines is easier when you have the kind of experience and additional knowlege that comes with these homework assignments. I only want to the chance to receive a grade which accurately reflects my actual level of skill and overall grasp of the course material and ability to articulate/demonstrate/communicate that material in a practical way--NOT only by my ability to manage my time effectively.

One last thing. Now, I normally wouldn't even tell you this--because it might be slightly inappropriate but since I'm already asking for special favors and generally behaved like an a-hole, I don't think this would make you think any less of me than you already do--but I thought your intro was really fantastic. Why?

A. Because you managed to come off as humble and down-to-earth even while detailing a dazzlingly impressive resume and amazing educational background.
B. Because you are super-ultra-extra-bonus-happy-fresh-pretty-mega attractive. Okay. But if that's like--really, totally out-of-line, I didn't mean it. I don't think you're attractive at all. Not even a little bit. So there. I take it back.

Anyway, unless for whatever reasons, you must now fail me and I'm like on WLAC's list of "really stupid /odd students." Please just let me know how to submit my late work. thanks

And about my inappropriate remarks--they warrant absolutely NO response from you whatsoever. Thanks, esme